


SI Legal

by Toshiba01



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 13:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2069979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toshiba01/pseuds/Toshiba01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, I’ve been thinking about this lately.  There’s some references in the movie-verse about  SI lawyers.  I’ve got a whole little head-canon going about it.  Message me if you have any prompts for SI Legal!</p>
            </blockquote>





	SI Legal

Stark Industries in-house counsel was feared by almost everyone who knew about them and had any vestiges of common-sense. As the largest private group of corporate attorneys, SI lawyers were generally acknowledged to be the toughest and most-successful negotiators and litigators known to the legal universe. Anyone who had any doubt about their combined and individual acumen had to consider that SI Legal was intimidating enough to scare away every government official who wanted part of former AD Hill’s hide and that SHE trusted legal to have her back. There was no typical SI lawyer – the members of legal were made up of the well-born and the not-so-well-born, those with pedigree law degrees and impeccable grades and those who had barely passing grades in no-name law schools. They included men and women who had clerked for Supreme Court Justices and those who worked as legal secretaries on the side to pay rent. There were ex-prosecutors, defense attorneys, plaintiff’s lawyers, a whole section of patent and intellectual property types, liability specialists, election attorneys, and a few former juvenile attorneys who could sniff out government malfeasance like bloodhounds. SI generally did not care what background the new lawyer came in with. There were requirements but they were somewhat um, unique. A prospective attorney for SI had to be smart enough to learn new areas of law quickly, fast on his/her feet, and thick-skinned. A healthy distrust of the government was considered a plus. This was not a place for shrinking violets. Generally, new hires were seasoned, battle-hardened veterans of their area of specialty and while specialists were hired for SI’s various needs, the right person could be brought on and trained if they met the afore-mentioned generally unpublished requirements as it was generally considered that some character traits could be polished and enhanced, but never taught. It was no surprised that one of the highest paid lawyers was the one in charge of hiring new staff. The support staff members were hired with the same requirements in mind as it did no good to successfully browbeat a government agency or another large corporation if the receptionist at the door melted at the sight or mention of a warrant or subpoena. The lowliest employee in the legal mailroom could easily hold off a contingent of alphabet soup agency types mouthing threats with subpoenas in hand while continuing to sort. SI Legal had very little turnover for a couple of reasons -- SI paid its staff well, gave them good benefits, offered generous incentives to continue one’s education, and had the strictest NDA and non-competition clauses on this (or on any other) planet. It was rumored that SHIELD had patterned its NDA’s after Stark Industries but removed the most draconian and offensive parts. Director Coulson will never acknowledge this but is known to grimace painfully any time this rumor is mentioned within his hearing as he had voted against against redacting the more, shall we say difficult parts – it should not be considered inhumane to remove some of the less important body parts after all, although the part about first-born children might have been a bit much. Natalie Rushman (aka Natasha Romanov aka the Black Widow) had been hired not for her looks (no matter what Stark said) but rather for the fact that the interview panel had found her bright, competent, possessing the requisite intestinal fortitude, and completely unnerving. Many in the department thought she was wasted as a spy and lamented the hordes of opposing parties and government officials she would never terrify. This view was enhanced once she was seen testifying before a Congressional panel (rat bastards all) with a smile on her face and a smirk behind her eyes. They sent her flowers and champagne after as well as a renewed job offer.  
The legal department was, of necessity, a tight fraternity. They had to be since the work was so secretive and tended to involve high-stakes. An SI Legal employee was treated as family by any other SI legal department anywhere in the world SI had offices. They were also held in great respect by other employees who saw them as the guards at the gate that kept the wolves at bay be it another corporation or Congress. Mr. Stark’s general antipathy for even the shadow of government control reverberated into the lowest levels. Occasionally, an enterprising litigant would attempt some legal maneuver upon a small, seemingly remote part of the company as a way to gain an advantage in some pending case. This usually led to disaster for the unwary as every SI employee knew to call down the hounds of hell, er, Legal immediately in such instances. Response would be swift and retribution painful. The only problem was that occasional lulls produced boredom. SI legal was filled with a horde of adrenalin junkies. When they got bored, they started inventing lawsuits – occasionally, Pepper had to intervene when one of these threatened to become too costly – embarrassing the government was fun, but not necessarily related to the bottom line. Tony frequently disagreed which was one of the many reasons Pepper was the better CEO.  
It also sometimes happened that Legal poached from another department which is why when SI took on Darcy Lewis (rumored to have tased a God and having the ability to manage people who would rather work than sleep); the hiring committee members invited her to lunch. This meeting never occurred as when Tony found out about it he had JARVIS send them a memo saying they could have her “over my dead body.” Legal sent a responsive memo informing Mr. Stark that they would take up that matter with Miss Potts. (The matter remained a in a perpetual stalemate although Darcy occasionally joked that she might like to go to law school.)  
To sum up, honi soit qui mal y pense or “you try ‘em but we fry ‘em.”


End file.
